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“I didn’t even want to buy it. I just didn’t want them to think we couldn’t afford it.”
That was what a client said while talking about Diwali expenses during a therapy session.
They had planned a fairly simple Diwali that year. New clothes, gifts for the family, a little decoration for the house and a nice dinner. Nothing extravagant, but enough to make the festival feel special.
Then they visited a relative’s home.
There was new furniture, expensive gifts, elaborate decorations and a conversation about a recent purchase that seemed to cost more than their entire Diwali budget.
On the way home, the client started thinking about their own plans. The clothes suddenly seemed too ordinary. The gifts felt inadequate. Even the idea of celebrating at home didn’t feel as exciting anymore.
So they went shopping again.
They upgraded the gifts, bought more expensive clothes and added things they hadn’t planned to buy. Some of it went on the credit card.
When I asked what had changed, they couldn’t point to anything they actually needed.
Their budget hadn’t increased. Their financial goals hadn’t changed.
But their idea of what was “enough” had changed.
Someone else’s spending had quietly become the standard against which they were judging their own.
This is Social Comparison at work.
(Picture Source:Pintrest)
We don’t always decide what we can afford or what we want based on our own circumstances. Sometimes, we look at the people around us and use their lives as a reference point.
During Diwali, this can become particularly visible. We see the gifts people exchange, the clothes they wear, the homes they decorate and the things they buy. What we don’t see is how those purchases fit into their finances.
We don’t know whether they saved for months, took on debt or made sacrifices elsewhere.
Yet we compare what we can see of their lives with what we know of our own.
And sometimes, the pressure isn’t even to enjoy more.
It’s to avoid looking like we have less.
What stayed with me about this conversation was that the client hadn’t gone shopping to celebrate Diwali differently.
They had gone shopping because, for a moment, their own life had started feeling inadequate.
And that’s an expensive feeling to carry.
Because there will always be someone with a bigger house, a more expensive gift, better jewellery or a more elaborate celebration. If their spending becomes our benchmark, there will always be something else we need to buy to feel that we are keeping up.
There is nothing wrong with spending on Diwali. Buying gifts, wearing new clothes and making our homes beautiful can be meaningful ways of celebrating.
The question is whether we’re spending because something matters to us—or because we’re uncomfortable with how our lives compare to someone else’s.
So this Diwali, before making that extra purchase, ask yourself:
“If nobody knew what I bought, would I still want it?”
Because prosperity isn’t just about what we can afford to buy.
Sometimes, it’s about feeling secure enough not to buy something just to prove that we can.
